From managing a new boss to other transitions, this article provides an eight-point plan for managing transition. I explain how we can manage transition well by being our whole self and doing so with skill.
How to manage a new boss (and other transitions)
A client recently shared an email with me, which they in turn had received from their new boss. It was entitled “The ABC guide to working with me”. The document in question contained more than two thousand words, and seven subcategories spread over five pages, detailing feedback the boss had received in previous roles.
The new boss had clearly shared this ‘guide’ with the best of intentions, and it is unusual to provide such information. However, it’s incredibly common for people to struggle whenever a new leader joins an organisation, with the following issues often coming to the fore:
- How do you work well together?
- How do you manage differences?
- How does everyone set themselves up for success?
An equation for managing transition
There is an equation that describes how to be successful in managing all transitions, including working with a new boss:
manage transition well = be your whole self + with skill
It really is this simple! However, how can we be our whole selves with skill?
This is a question that humans have been asking since the days of the earliest Greek philosophers. Fortunately for us, modern psychology has provided us with some useful ways of thinking as well as tools and actions we can all take. Together they offer our best chance for success.
Being your whole self
Carl Jung, a founding father of psychology, is best known for his approach to wholeness. In essence (and in modern commercial language) Jung said that to be our whole selves we need to be aware of the following:
1. We all wear masks
In daily life we all have several roles. We belong to social groups, we are professionals, some of us are parents and so on. When we identify with our roles it is like wearing a mask, and we can become that mask for the day. It’s easy to think of a football fan, a doctor or a mother who does exactly that.
This is not a problem until it comes to managing a transition. We can over-identify with the role we have, take a position and get into conflict. And suddenly things aren’t so easy with the new boss.
Manage well: Remember it’s not personal. Be aware that a role is just a mask, it’s not you. You are far more than any role you hold. So, when our role is challenged, it’s just a role and we can act with greater objectivity and be high performing.
2. Part of us is hidden
If we wear a mask, then whatever is behind that mask is hidden from view. Sometimes, to make our masks the best they can be, we give 100% effort to the mask, and in doing so we suppress what’s behind the mask.
History is full of stories about people suppressing natural parts of themselves to be successful in their roles. The unintended result is negative compensating behaviour that we experience when we least expect it, and our performance suffers.
Manage well: Give 100% effort to your mask and acknowledge what’s behind it. A simple acknowledgement is often enough to avoid the worst excessive compensating behaviour.
3. We can manage competing tensions
One unique part of our human nature is that we can manage inner tension. When we hold two opposing concepts, anxiety builds and if we can bear it long enough an insight emerges. The insight helps us think bigger and resolve what was in conflict.
When a new boss arrives, the environment is filled with tension, opposing ideas and we feel rising levels of anxiety. Our immediate response, ‘fight or flight’, is an animal instinct. However, it’s our ability to manage competing tension and anxiety that makes us more than any other animal. It makes us human and allows us to perform to an exceptional level.
Manage well: Develop a mature approach to managing anxiety. When you do, you’ll notice that your performance improves and people get to see your talent and potential in new ways. If you’re struggling with anxiety, talk to a colleague, come up with a plan, test and refine. It’s a practical and immediate way forward.
4. We share inherited traits
Why are we so often inspired by people who are old and wise, others who are youthful and energetic, and those who have a deep sense of meaning and purpose?
The answer lies in the inherited traits that we all share. There are hundreds of such traits, they inspire us way beyond words, they inspire us to levels of performance that engage the unconscious mind.
Manage well: Include inherited traits as part of your language at work. For example, talk about character, passion, vocation, calling, etc. Each of these concepts offers more possibilities that you can ever write on a page. It fires up the imagination to think big and accesses the hidden depths of your potential.
+ with skill
Both Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud described some helpful skills in managing transitions. They described the need to manage blind spots around:
5. Strong feelings and beliefs
We are all recovering children. The difficulties we overcame as children often show up unconsciously in adult life. They show up as strong feelings and beliefs. When we experience a transition, like getting a new boss, these strong feelings and beliefs can be triggered and our performance dips.
Manage well: The simple act of sharing troublesome feelings and beliefs, being listened to and making sense of them can resolve 75% of issues. For the remaining 25% that persist, it’s worth engaging a professional coach to help you work through them.
6. Blaming others
One of our most primitive defences during a transition is to blame others. The act of blaming reduces our anxiety, but it’s low performing and soon enough we will have to deal with what’s really going on.
Manage well: When you notice you are blaming others, you should pause and ask yourself the following question; if I didn’t blame others, what do I have to face myself? You will then uncover some of your own thoughts and feelings. Only when you accept them, will you stop blaming others. This can be a tricky process. Talk it through with a trusted colleague or external coach.
7. Acting out of past experiences
A new boss can remind us of someone from our past. This can be positive, for example a role model, or negative, such as a difficult former colleague.
We then change our usual behaviour and act from our past experience. Signs you are doing this include:
- Turning up earlier or later for meetings.
- Changing response times for email.
- Over working or under working.
- Becoming excessively annoyed/irritable or pleased/good natured.
- Becoming more silent or vocal in meetings.
- Devaluing (negative/incompetent/uncaring) your new boss.
- Overvaluing (positive/competent/caring) your new boss.
- Being more tired or more energised by your new boss.
Manage well: If you are experiencing any of the signs above, you’ve already started to free yourself from their grip. Awareness of the behaviour is enough to start to address it. Speak to your colleagues about what you’ve noticed, ask them to help. Whenever they notice you doing any of the above, give them permission to mention it to you and provide you with feedback.
8. Personal styles
Developing awareness of and managing personal styles are widely taught in organisations. Most modern-day profiling tools are based on Carl Jung’s work on introversion, extraversion, thinking and feeling styles.
The problem arises when managing personal styles is the only work that is done in transition.
Manage well: Find a validated personal styles tool that you like. Add it to the seven steps above and it will work even better.
In Conclusion
The new boss who shares the ‘ABC guide to me’ is certainly well intended.
But rather than reacting to this approach in an entirely predictable way, you should instead seek to help them. You could do this by finding ways to broaden the conversation by introducing and being aware of the eight steps which are outlined above. If managed well, this action will improve the chances of success for all.
A final thought. Life is one big transition. You will find the equation of ‘being my whole self + with skill’ works wonders on our lifelong development.