In this article, I explore why good people sometimes behave badly in the workplace, why this behaviour is predictable and how we can change it.
Organisations are filled with well-intentioned ‘good’ people who strive to do their best. However, there is often a gap between our intentions and what we achieve. When we fall short, we might lash out, blame others and misbehave, regardless of our role. These negative responses are entirely predictable.
Psychology has discovered more recently what physicists have known for centuries (for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction). Every time we suppress part of ourselves in pursuit of a goal, there is an opposite and negative compensation—cue the bad behaviour.
When recently discussing the issue of bad behaviour with a client, I used the metaphor of people who say one thing and do another. These people espouse virtue and strong morals but privately can fall short of these high ideals. In doing so, they are suppressing the parts of their nature that cannot live up to this perfect model. The predictable consequence is an equal and opposite reaction – they let themselves down and misbehave. Sadly, the client then went on to share how this was the same story with their own family. Their father had been a respected community leader, outwardly espousing virtue and good morals. Still, he had lived a double life. Eventually, he would go on to leave his family and the local community.
The workplace also witnesses the damaging effects of suppressed behaviour. Although it may appear less dramatic than the example above, its consequences can lead to bad behaviour that is both predictable and destructive.
To achieve our aims, we believe that our best strategy for success is to suppress our broad and natural responses and desires, focusing instead on delivering the task. But in pushing down on our whole nature, there is an equal and opposite reaction within us. The price we pay for doing so is manifested in negative compensating behaviour. Shouting, putting others down, micro-management, instilling fear, creating a culture where you can’t speak up, favouritism and spreading false rumours are examples. These become more pronounced when we have time and cost pressures to meet. A terrible and predictable consequence is people bullying their colleagues in the name of getting results, whatever the cost.
But this does not have to be the reality within our organisations. A better way is possible.
When people accept their strengths and weaknesses, they no longer need to suppress parts of themselves. Instead, they can work on being their whole self with more skill. It is an aware leader who plays to their strengths and has a plan to manage perceived weaknesses and harness their full potential.
Another highly successful client described to me how they openly talked about vulnerability within their organisation. ‘None of us are perfect’ they said, and ‘in our business, we encourage people to bring their whole self to work. We must accept that we all have flaws and that we all have potential. This has undoubtedly made a massive difference in our organisation’s short- and longer-term performance’.
It is clear to me that good people do bad things in organisations when they suppress their whole selves. However, organisations can affect this behaviour by creating a culture of openness, where vulnerabilities are discussed alongside strengths. Embracing both is the key to unlocking sustainable performance and ensuring that good people can work better by simply being themselves with skill.
Through honesty and fresh thinking, this is change for the better.
Creating better leaders and better workplaces.